In this dream I believe it was symbolic of the season that I am in (And it may speak to this season of your life also). The dream, which I found myself in, brought forth deep emotions. Then those emotions helped me to know what I was feeling and understand how to respond to God’s grace in this season of my life.
In the dream I was walking across a university campus, and it was graduation time. I should have had the feeling of overwhelming jubilation, because I had just finished four years of hard work. I should have been filled with overwhelming anticipation as I stood for pictures, with cap and gown, celebrating overcoming sleepless nights and early morning exams. I should have been feeling the exhilaration of throwing my cap into the air as the President said, “congratulations class you have just graduated.” Instead, deep in my stomach was the anxious pain of regret.
Why? I knew that I had not attended one of my classes for the whole semester and I was going to fail that class. Not only would I fail that class, but I would not be able to graduate. In the dream I felt the overwhelming sense of panic, which starts as a seed in your mind (and if you think about it too much), then is planted in your heart. Anxiety, panic, and regret started to grow in my heart, causing my mind to race in 1000 different scenarios, all ending in a fiery crash that I could not escape from. But, then another seed entered the dream.
In the midst of the scurry of the end of the year semester, the stress of, “what is next?” the anxious pain of regret a seed of hope came into my heart. It was only a seed, but it was hope. The seed can be summed up in one word:
I knew I had a choice. Either I could think about all that was wrong, or I could humble myself before God and cry out for mercy. With the full guilt of regret running down my head in painful beads of sweat, I choose to turn to His Mercy. And I prayed a prayer, “God I am sorry I did not make it to my writing class, You are merciful, can you please forgive me, help!! And then, in the dream the most remarkable thing happened.
A man walked up to me on the campus and introduced himself as my writing instructor. I told him I was so sorry for missing class. But then I asked him when the exam was, hoping that I could do some last-minute studying and come to class. He told me that the exam was already over. I weakly fought back the feeling of anxiety and tried not to let me face show the oncoming pain. Then, the kind teacher smiled (it was the most peaceful smile), and he said, “I will give you the exam and let you take it over the weekend. Just bring it back to me on Monday. If you pass, I will let you graduate.” I was overwhelmed with gratitude and started to dance, overjoyed at God’s mercy.
As I celebrated, this Psalm came forth:
I love the Lord, because He has heard
My voice and my supplications.
2 Because He has inclined His ear to me,
Therefore I will call upon Him as long as I live.
The pains of death surrounded me,
And the pangs of Sheol laid hold of me;
I found trouble and sorrow.
Then I called upon the name of the Lord:
“O Lord, I implore You, deliver my soul!”
Gracious is the Lord, and righteous;
Yes, our God is merciful.
The Lord preserves the simple;
I was brought low, and He saved me.
Return to your rest, O my soul,
For the Lord has dealt bountifully with you.
For You have delivered my soul from death,
My eyes from tears,
And my feet from falling.
SOOOOOOO WHERE ARE YOU ?!?
Are you overwhelmed by a present circumstance? Are the trials of life causing suffocating pain, or pushing you closer to the cross? I want to encourage you. Joshua, who had the HUGE task to take over for Moses, was called by God to lead Israel into the promise land. The very place the people had not been able to enter, because of their sinful nature, which had caused them to wander for 40 years. The very promised land which Moses had not entered, because he had hit the rock one too many times. Joshua had every right to be afraid, but the Lord saved him with hope by pledging,
“No man shall be able to stand before you all the days of your life; as I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not leave you nor forsake you. Be strong and of good courage, for to this people you shall divide as an inheritance the land which I swore to their fathers to give them. Only be strong and very courageous, that you may observe to do according to all the law which Moses My servant commanded you; do not turn from it to the right hand or to the left, that you may prosper wherever you go. This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success.” (Joshua 1:5-8)
Today, let’s take the advice of God. (1) “Be strong and of good courage”; Let’s turn to His Mercy and Strength, not our own weak flesh. (2) “This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night.” Let’s turn to His word, embrace Mercy, read, mediated, and pray upon His Heart, the Bible, the Word of God, and embrace His judgment of Mercy…The best is yet to come…we get to do this life.